I feel like I'm missing out on something amazing. I'm not, but at the same time I am. I was just catching up on my friends' blogs, and two of them, on opposite sides of the globe, mentioned something about how they are in a scary place compared to the US. One is in Zambia, and one is in Guatemala. Both of those places have things we don't have to deal with here in the states. Diseases, snakes, and other dangerous things and people. But being in those places, being in those situations, makes them depend on God more and learn and grow closer to Him. And here I am, safe, in my comfort zone. Not being dependent, not learning, and not growing. I'm sitting. Just sitting.
Am I just being selfish? I want to go overseas. I want to go to a third world country and live in a tent. I want to see God in the things I normally don't. I want to learn and grow in the way I see my friends learning and growing. But maybe my motive is skewed. Maybe that's the wrong reason to go. The reason should be to share Jesus with people who don't know him, not to keep him to myself. Don't get me wrong, we should always be leanring and growing, but it's not all about us. We know where our place is when we leave this world, but there are people out there who won't be meeting us there unless we tell them. Our goal should always be to share. Share our knowledge, but more importantly, share His love. AND it should be everywhere we go, to everyone we meet. It doesn't matter if we are in a third world country, living in a tent, or if we're in our hometown, safe from the things we don't even know about. The WORLD is our mission field.
But sometimes it's hard to make ourselves see God in every day things. But He's there. Everything I have He has given me. He is so gracious, and I am so grateful to be where I am and have the things I have. Sometimes I forget to thank God for the things I have. And He's given me so much, I couldn't even name it all! Recently, He's even given me the thing my subconscious (and several times my conscious!) self had been praying for the past two years: my family is coming home. I feel like that move to Ohio was good for very few things. I know God has His reasons, reasons I don't realize (and might never realize), but I am just SO GLAD that He's bringing my parents back. I knew He would, I just didn't know when it would be, but now He is.
And I just can't stop thinking about all the changes that are going to take place. Good changes, that is. And, well, some that aren't good or bad, but changes nonetheless. For one, hopefully people will stop harrassing me about being "from" Ohio. I'm not going to count the rest because I fear I may lose track. You'll have to forgive the rant that is about to take place because I don't think I'll have much control over it.
Ready, go.
I'm going to be HOME for breaks. I say home because Ohio was never home to me, but LC will be HOME. I'll get to see Simone more! (And maybe, hopefully, some other friends!) We're going to be in a fancy new house, hopefully with a pool!! Mom will get to go to Mistletoe and Moss again! We'll be closer to Josh, and he'll actually have family around again, poor thing. I'll have to get a new license and new plates, but it won't be a problem renewing my license for my 21st birthday. I'll be able to go see my friends' bands when they perform. I'll have a bank where I can easily deposit checks on a weekend. I'll be able to go home any ole weekend I want!! My parents can come to football games, heck, they can get SEASON TICKETS and come with our old neighbors. My mom will have friends. I will have friends! My dad will have friends! Casa Ole. Tony's pizza. Orange Leaf (which is new, and hasn't even opened yet)!! PLP, Luna, Darrell's. The restaurants in general! Our church family...I don't have to pretend to enjoy going to church functions anymore. Just...EVERYTHING. Just everything! I miss it all. Every single thing. Perhaps not all the people, but most of them for sure. I just can't wait! The excitement is so great I feel like I'm going to burst! It's 2 am and I don't think I could sleep right now if I tried!!!
Maybe writing this blog wasn't such a great idea after all.
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