This past weekend, at Fall Breakaway, it just hit me. Out of nowhere. I was lying in bed, just thinking about...well, now I can't even remember...and I suddenly got homesick. I just wanted to go back to being a kid again, when my brothers and I all lived at home with my parents. When we used to take family vacations every summer. When we actually interacted with each other...Now we're lucky if we are all together even one day out of the year. It was this train of thought that made the tears come. I wanted to just let myself cry, but I didn't want anyone to hear me.
Maybe I've been suppressing it the last few years, but I've never wanted to go home so badly. I never wanted to go home before because my parents were in Ohio and there was nothing for me there except them. But now they're back in Lake Charles, and I feel like a freshman who wants to go home every weekend, even if just to have my laundry done for me and to have a home cooked meal or two. Even when I go home, it's not the same. My brothers aren't there. One still lives in Lake Charles, but I don't get to spend much time with him when I'm there because he works and sleeps. The other one I got to see when I visited in Ohio, but I still didn't get to spend much time with him, and now he's in Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I don't have any inspiring Jesus ending to this post, because it is quite depressing. I guess I just needed to let it out because when I think to much about it, I always want to cry.
